"The Real Shady" [Eminem] May I your attention please? May have your attention please? Will the real Slim Shady please stand repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up? gonna have a problem here.. Y'all act like you seen a white person before Jaws all on the like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door and started whoopin her ass worse before they first divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!) It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, way, you're kidding, he didn't say what I think he did, did he?" Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots! Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked my basement! (Ha-ha!) Feminist women Eminem [*vocal turntable: chigga chigga*] Shady, I'm sick of him Look at him, walkin around grabbin his Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so though!" Yeah, I probably got a of screws up in my head loose But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but but it's cool Tom Green to hump a dead moose "My bum is on your lips, my bum on your lips" And if I'm lucky, might just give it a little kiss And that's message that we deliver to little kids And expect them not to know what a clitoris is course they gonna know what intercourse is By time they hit fourth grade They got the Discovery don't they? ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals who cut other people open like cantaloupes if we can hump dead animals and antelopes then there's reason that a man and another man can't elope [*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I I got the antidote Women wave your sing the chorus and it goes [Chorus: (repeat 2X)] 'Cause I'm Shady, yes I'm the real Shady All other Slim Shadys are just imitating So won't the real Slim Shady please stand please stand up, please stand [Eminem] Will Smith gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records; I do, so fuck him and fuck you too! You think I give a damn a Grammy? Half of you critics can't even stomach let alone stand me "But Slim, what if win, wouldn't it be weird?" Why? So you guys just lie to get me here? So you can, sit here next to Britney Spears? Shit, Christina Aguilera switch me chairs so I can sit next Carson Daly and Fred Durst and hear 'em over who she gave head to first You little bitch, put me on blast MTV "Yeah, he's cute, but I he's married to Kim, hee-hee!" I should her audio on MP3 and show the whole world how you gave Eminem [AHHH!] I'm of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me so I have been here to destroy you [bzzzt] there's a million of us just like me who cuss like me; who just give a fuck like me who like me; walk, talk and act like me and just might the next best thing but not quite me! [Chorus] [Eminem] I'm like a head trip listen to, cause I'm only givin you you joke about with your friends inside your living room The only difference is I got the to say it in front of y'all I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all I just get the mic and spit it and whether like to admit it [*ERR*] I just shit it better than ninety of you rappers out can Then you how can kids eat up these albums like valiums It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm I'll be the person in the nursin home flirting Pinchin nurses asses I'm jackin off with Jergens And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra working And every single person is a Slim lurkin He could be workin at Burger King, on your onion rings [*HACH*] Or the parkin lot, circling Screaming don't give a fuck!" with his windows down and his system So, will the Shady please stand up? And put of those fingers on each hand up? And be proud to be your mind and outta control and one more loud as you can, how does it go? [Chorus 4X] [Eminem] Ha ha Guess a Slim Shady in all of us Fuck it, let's stand up