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 "The Real  Shady"
 
 [Eminem]
 May I  your attention please?
 May  have your attention please?
 Will the real Slim Shady please stand 
  repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
  gonna have a problem here..
 
 Y'all act like you  seen a white person before
 Jaws all on the  like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
 and started whoopin her ass worse  before
 they first  divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!)
 It's the return of the... "Ah, wait,  way, you're kidding,
 he didn't  say what I think he did, did he?"
  Dr. Dre said... nothing you idiots!
 Dr. Dre's dead, he's locked  my basement! (Ha-ha!)
 Feminist women  Eminem
 [*vocal turntable: chigga  chigga*]
  Shady, I'm sick of him
 Look at him, walkin around grabbin his 
 Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so  though!"
 Yeah, I probably got a  of screws up in my head loose
 But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' 
 Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but 
 but it's cool  Tom Green to hump a dead moose
 "My bum is on your lips, my bum  on your lips"
 And if I'm lucky,  might just give it a little kiss
 And that's  message that we deliver to little kids
 And expect them not to know what a  clitoris is
  course they gonna know what intercourse is
 By  time they hit fourth grade
 They got the Discovery  don't they?
  ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals
 who cut other people open like cantaloupes 
  if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
 then there's  reason that a man and another man can't elope
 [*EWWW!*] But if you feel like I  I got the antidote
 Women wave your  sing the chorus and it goes
 
 [Chorus:  (repeat 2X)]
 
 'Cause I'm  Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
 All  other Slim Shadys are just imitating
 So won't the real Slim Shady please stand 
 please stand up, please stand 
 
 [Eminem]
 Will Smith  gotta cuss in his raps to sell his records;
  I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!
 You think I give a damn  a Grammy?
 Half of you critics can't even stomach  let alone stand me
 "But Slim, what if  win, wouldn't it be weird?"
 Why? So you guys  just lie to get me here?
 So you can, sit  here next to Britney Spears?
 Shit, Christina Aguilera  switch me chairs
 so I can sit next  Carson Daly and Fred Durst
 and hear 'em  over who she gave head to first
 You little bitch, put me on blast  MTV
 "Yeah, he's cute, but I  he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
 I should  her audio on MP3
 and show the whole world how you gave Eminem  [AHHH!]
 I'm  of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
 so I have been  here to destroy you [bzzzt]
  there's a million of us just like me
 who cuss like me; who just  give a fuck like me
 who  like me; walk, talk and act like me
 and just might  the next best thing but not quite me!
 
 [Chorus]
 
 [Eminem]
 I'm like a head trip  listen to, cause I'm only givin you
  you joke about with your friends inside your living room
 The only difference is I got the  to say it
 in front of y'all  I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all
 I just get  the mic and spit it
 and whether  like to admit it [*ERR*] I just shit it
 better than ninety  of you rappers out can
 Then you  how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
 It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when I'm 
 I'll be the  person in the nursin home flirting
 Pinchin nurses asses  I'm jackin off with Jergens
 And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra  working
 And every single person is a Slim  lurkin
 He could be workin at Burger King,  on your onion rings
 [*HACH*] Or  the parkin lot, circling
 Screaming  don't give a fuck!"
 with his windows down and his system 
 So, will the  Shady please stand up?
 And put  of those fingers on each hand up?
 And be proud to be  your mind and outta control
 and one more  loud as you can, how does it go?
 
 [Chorus 4X]
 
 [Eminem]
 Ha ha
 Guess  a Slim Shady in all of us
 Fuck it, let's  stand up