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 "The  Slim Shady"
 
 [Eminem]
 May I have your attention 
  I have your attention please?
 Will the real Slim Shady please stand 
 I repeat, will the real  Shady please stand up?
 We're gonna  a problem here..
 
 Y'all act like you never seen a white person 
 Jaws all on the floor  Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
 and  whoopin her ass worse than before
 they  were divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!)
 It's the return  the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,
 he didn't just say what I think he  did he?"
 And  Dre said... nothing you idiots!
 Dr.  dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)
 Feminist women love 
 [*vocal  chigga chigga chigga*]
 "Slim  I'm sick of him
 Look at him, walkin around  his you-know-what
  the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"
 Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up  my head loose
 But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' 
 Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose,  can't
 but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a  moose
 "My bum is on your  my bum is on your lips"
  if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
  that's the message that we deliver to little kids
 And expect them not to know  a woman's clitoris is
 Of course they gonna  what intercourse is
 By the time  hit fourth grade
 They got the Discovery Channel don't 
 "We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well,  of us cannibals
  cut other people open like cantaloupes [SLURP]
 But if we can hump dead  and antelopes
 then there's no reason that a man and another man can't 
 [*EWWW!*] But if you feel  I feel, I got the antidote
 Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus  it goes
 
 [Chorus: Eminem  2X)]
 
 'Cause I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real 
 All you  Slim Shadys are just imitating
 So won't the real  Shady please stand up,
 please stand  please stand up?
 
 [Eminem]
 Will Smith don't gotta cuss in his  to sell his records;
 well I do, so fuck him and fuck you 
 You think  give a damn about a Grammy?
 Half  you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
 "But  what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"
 Why? So you  could just lie to get me here?
 So you can, sit me  next to Britney Spears?
 Shit,  Aguilera better switch me chairs
 so I can sit  to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
 and hear 'em argue over  she gave head to first
 You little bitch, put me on  on MTV
 "Yeah,  cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!"
 I should  her audio on MP3
 and show the whole world how  gave Eminem VD [AHHH!]
 I'm sick  you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
 so I have been  here to destroy you [bzzzt]
 And there's a million of us just like 
 who cuss  me; who just don't give a fuck like me
  dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
 and just might be the next best thing but not quite 
 
 [Chorus]
 
 [Eminem]
 I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only  you
  you joke about with your friends inside your living room
 The only difference is I got the balls to  it
 in front of y'all and I don't  be false or sugarcoated at all
 I just  on the mic and spit it
 and  you like to admit it [*ERR*] I just shit it
 better than  percent of you rappers out can
 Then  wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums
 It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when  thirty
 I'll be the only person in  nursin home flirting
 Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off  Jergens
 And I'm jerkin but this  bag of Viagra isn't working
 And every single person is  Slim Shady lurkin
 He could be workin  Burger King, spittin on your onion rings
 [*HACH*] Or in the  lot, circling
 Screaming "I  give a fuck!"
 with his  down and his system up
 So, will the real  please stand up?
 And put one of those  on each hand up?
 And be proud to be outta your mind and  control
 and  more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
 
 [Chorus 4X]
 
 [Eminem]
 Ha ha
 Guess there's a Slim Shady in all  us
 Fuck it, let's  stand up